Is It Just Me? Or Am I Weird?

30 12 2005

Well, if I’ve learned anything about myself within the past year, it’s been coming to grips with the fact that yes, I am weird. But I mean that in a good way. I just mean that it’s kind of hard to put me and my likes and dislikes, my experiences and plans into a box. I think I’ve always been that way. I went to a Catholic school in an all-black neighborhood but my religious affiliation growing up was AME (African Methodist Episcopal). As a matter of fact, practically everyone in my class was something other than Catholic…So I grew up learning of God but never really knowing much about Him…I went to a predominately white college to study african american studies, then went to a historically black college to study film, then an ivy league grad school to study film with a handful of black people…I like hip hop but I also like 104.7 The Fish (a contemporary christian station)…I like banana now-a-laters but I hate bananas…that’s me…always a little unorthodox, atypical, unique if you will, a little hard to figure out at a first glance…you gotta dig a little deeper…

I guess it should be no surprise that this one part of my life has been such a mind-boggler as well. I moved to Atlanta almost a year ago and I still have not settled on a church. For a die-hard God-lover like myself who loves to get involved in the church, this is quite unusual. One church is exactly like the church I left back home in Jersey. The other church is completely different from my church in Jersey and any other church I’ve ever been to for that matter. One has urban contemporary praise and worship combined with soul-stirring preaching while at the other one, praise and worship is more like a rock concert…not to mention that we listen to the pastor deliver sermons via DVD…(I know it sounds crazy, but it actually works). Not to mention the fact that I am only one of about 11 black people in this church, which is a very strange experience for me. But I love it just the same because even though I don’t see people there that look like me, spiritually and intellectually I feel so much at home…

For so long I have been wondering why can’t I just be a normal person, choose one church and just go there and be happy and just stay there for the rest of my life??? Join a ministry, get married in the chapel, have kids, put them in ministry and start the cycle all over again…but then that would be the "norm", that would be expected… and that would be so unlike me…

I did say earlier that I am weird…ok, maybe weird has a harsh connotation…how about….different? I’m ok with weird, so I think I’ll stick with that…Whatever you want to call it, I’ve come to accept and even love it…Some people think I’m flaky because I float between both churches but I think what really bites is feeling like I HAVE to choose one or the other…But I guess that’s the way it goes…What also bites is the fact that people look at me like I’m crazy because right now I go to two churches but forget about the fact that there are people out there who don’t go to church at all…

As for me, I’m still a Jesus-freak so I just can’t bring myself to dis’ the church altogether…The funny thing about it is I’ve always been one of those people who looked down on people who couldn’t stick to one church home…and now here I am doing the same thing. So much for passing judgement on others, huh?… Even before coming to Atlanta, I’ve gone to a number of different churches and there are so many things I like about ALL of them…I like change, so sue me…or better yet, sue me because I see the WHOLE body of Christ, not just the "black church" or the "white church", as such an interesting organism in all colors, facets and worship styles that I want to somehow be a part of each measure of expression…For now, I’m completely fine with enjoying both churches…it’s actually quite refreshing to know that not every Christian out there worships the same way, and to be able to embrace both forms of worship…I actually think that if more Christians would embrace that fact, then maybe we would have a bit more impact in the world than we do…What do YOU think???

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3 responses

18 01 2006
Anonymous

Hi, I was just wondering why the confusion about the churches. I have learned that no one church has it all. In my opinion to be involved in two churches would question what I am to do as far as my ministry,my tithes and establishing strong friendships.

20 01 2006
azuspeak

You’re absolutely right. There is no such thing as a perfect church. Which is exactly my point. So many times when we’re looking for a church home we gravitate toward what is familiar without ever thinking that maybe God might be calling us to do ministry, to pay tithes and establish strong frienships in unfamiliar places. Places that take us out of our comfort zone. THAT has been more or less my dilemma because God is challenging me to step outside the boat when it comes to where I worship. Since writing this blog I have decided to join Buckhead Church (see “Catching Up…”). I believe that this is where God would have me to get involved, and I feel peace about it in the midst of the challenge.

26 01 2006
Anonymous

Hi thanks for responding, Their not being a perfect church was my point also. I visited several churches before I joined a church, and I also joined what was familiar to me. Thats where praying comes in, God matches us up with the church where we can grow in our gift. Its all about God, because you could be in a place that maybe you think this not for you but that may be exactly what you need. I feel that we as christian don’t pray enough about our situation and thats where the dilemma comes in. Our work in the Lord is the only thing that matters. us being uncomfortable a lot of times dosen’t matter. I think about Jesus being nailed on the cross I am sure that was a little uncomfortable for him. Thank God he did not leave the cross. thanks

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