Who Needs Men?

27 02 2006

I’ve never been one to openly admit that women need men…Well, at least not since I became the college-educated, independent and fierce woman that I am…I mean, come on, that sounds so cliche, so "damsel in distress", so lame, to even think that a woman needs a man in order to be happy…

I just finished my nightly ritual of watching Sex In the City–you know, the cleaned up versions that come on the WB…(yes, I’ve actually started watching it quite faithfully. I was really shocked to find out how well the show is written and how they really deal with some real issues that really ring true among me and countless other single women). Anyways, I’m almost in tears over the stress that women all over this country seem to be facing when it comes to relationships and, more specifically singleness. Add to all this the fact that I just finished writing my latest screenplay "Something Worth Waiting For" which deals with this very issue and I just spent most of my day talking with many of my friends and colleagues who had read the script and were ready and willing to give me their feedback. Everybody (particularly the women) seemed to be able to relate very well to the characters and comedy in the story…the ambiguity about how to meet a guy…the single male:female ratios…the constant nagging from family and friends about when we’re gonna get married…and of course the whole clock ticking thing…

On tonight’s episode of Sex in the City, Carrie’s been dating this older Russian artist guy and her boss (an older woman played by Candace Bergen) asks Carrie to set her up with one of the Russian guy’s friends because she can’t find a date. She ends up at a party flirting shamelessly with Carrie’s Russian boyfriend and later says to Carrie "It’s not fair," indicating that at her age, her prospects are even slimmer and all the good men who match her age "only want the young bimbos." Later in the show Carrie decides to give up her career and move to Paris with the Russian guy just so that she can live a fairy tale life, have a man and be happy. She was tired of living the single life and decided to do whatever she had to do to get out of it.

Such is the life of many single women…even more so for Christian women who have the added pressure of "doing it God’s way." When you think about it, all the statistics about singles are kind of frightening in a way. First there’s the statistics about how many singles there are in this country (about 86 million–26% of the population), then the statistics on how many of that 26% are heterosexual men, then how many of that percentage are Christians, then how many of that percentage are even half of what you might be looking for in a mate (that maybe they bathe, know how to dress themselves, have all their teeth and maybe have a sense of humor) the pickings start to look really slim. Which brings me back to the title of this blog…

Do we really need men in our lives in order to be happy? Of course not. Then why do we put ourselves through so much drama when we don’t have them? I mean, I have to admit I’m guilty of it myself. As many times as I have told myself that I don’t need a man and that I’m enjoying my freedom as a single woman, as I get older I’m now starting to ask myself "Is that really true?" Oh sure, we "independent" types pretend like it doesn’t matter, but God made us to be relational…Well, then if that’s the case then why are the statistics so grim? That’s the part I haven’t figured out yet and I guess that’s why the tears at Sex in the City. As successful and independent as we are as women, we can be so vulnerable when it comes to this issue. And the statistics don’t help. It’s mind-boggling. I guess that’s why it’s best to ignore them. I’m glad I’m writing this blog before I get ready to say my prayers tonight. No wonder so many singles are desperate and hopeless. Good thing I at least have God on my side to at least give me some kind of comfort in knowing that all is not lost. Give me your feedback and I’ll have to do Part 2 of this discussion later!

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