Dear God…

4 09 2006

I just came back from the Labor Day Retreat and my heart is bubbling
over with the passion that I once had for You. I’m so sorry that my
human nature makes me sporadic at times but my heart is so in love with
You. Sometimes I have a hard time comprehending why You love me so
much. I mean, there are so many things I have done in my past that I’m
not particularly proud of. And let’s be real, I did or even thought
some things today that weren’t very Christ-like I guess. Why a holy God
like You would even accept someone like me is beyond my comprehension.
I feel Paul when he said:

"So I find this law at work: When
I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I
delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of
my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner
of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am!
Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through
Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:21-25

It is for this very
reason that I am so thankful for what Jesus did for me on the cross.
Thank you for your perfect plan to save me from the bondage I inflict
on myself. Thanks to You, no matter how long I choose to wallow in it,
the truth is that I am not bound by any kind of sin. I have the freedom
of Christ to rise above anything.

And God I thank You for your
Word that is so rich with truth. Why is it that we Your children are so
resistant to the real truth of Your word? Sometimes I think we just
like to make up stuff, to make up rules and regulations for people to
follow. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it’s like musical chairs–we just
like to bop around in circles see who’s going to fall down when the
music stops playing.

I’m not impressed by religion anymore. I
want to know Your will for my life. But the crazy thing is that Your
will for my life is right now. It’s not 10-20 years from now. It starts
right here, in my living room. I want to know the truth. And we try so
hard to figure out every little thing. I really don’t think we have any
answers but we think we do. So in the meantime we’re corrupted on
speculations and interpretations. But the reality is that this life is
a journey. And what a beautiful journey it is! Let’s be bold to live it
to the fullest!

And if I had one prayer right now it would be
that You would give me to boldness to speak the truth to people who
think they’ve got it all figured out. I know that the irrelevance of
our churches has got to bug You. I know it bugs me. Big time. I fear
for what happens if we don’t get it together…

Please forgive
me for being so selfish. Your kingdom is so much bigger than me, it’s
bigger than my career, it’s bigger than my home decor, it’s bigger than
the guy I have a crush on, it’s even bigger than whether or not I get
married. Please help me to keep things in perspective so that I can be
a better example of what it means to have hope not in this crazy,
jacked up world but in a life that goes on and on and on–forever–and
on and on and on….

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