Check Please!

5 12 2007

A couple weeks ago when I posted about my short-lived modeling experience I started one of my blogs with the words "
Every now and then I need to do something that makes me uncomfortable. I think it helps me grow." Well, I seem to be eating those words quite often these days as I go throughout my life…

Last week I went out to dinner with my friend Jon and at the end of our meal I insisted that I pay. "Now why would you do a thing like that?" some of you may ask. Well, for a couple of reasons. One is that I get uncomfortable when guys start paying for stuff for me. A lot of times I feel like it’s unfair for guys to be expected to pay all the time. I mean, they have bills and stuff too. Why should they be expected to always foot the bill? I often have recurring thoughts of guys declaring bankruptcy because they paid for dinner one too many times. The other reason is that I’m just not really used to guys paying for me. Most of the guys I’ve gone out with in the past we usually went dutch or I ended up paying. I had one guy friend who used to always insist on paying whenever we went out. Even when we were just friends. That was just his thing. And then once we started dating he continued that tradition. But even then, I just always felt weird, like I never wanted him to think that I took the fact that he paid for granted. I never wanted him to feel taken advantage of. I think I talked to him about it one day and it was just customary for him. It was synonymous with being a gentleman and with doing something nice…

So anyways, my friend Jon would not let me pay for the meal. Even though I insisted, he took the check and paid it. I was a little disappointed because I wanted to pay. I guess he could see that because later on he asked if it bothered me that he paid and I told him yes.

So tonight we hung out again and when the check came he slowly slid it over to me to which I responded with sheer delight. The bill was small because he didn’t even order anything, but he later told me how uncomfortable that was for him to let me pay and I realized that maybe I’m being a little silly in not letting a guy pay. I mean, if he wants to pay, why should I let the people who I’ve gone out with in the past hinder me from being treated to a nice dinner? Do I not think I’m worth having someone pay for my dinner? Silly me. So when he dropped me off at my car I told him I would never pay for another check ever again.

I think it’s going to be hard for me to just sit there and watch him pay if we ever go out again. It’ll make me uncomfortable, like I’m not doing my part. But I think it’ll help me grow and learn that if somebody wants to do something nice for you, it’s ok, let them…..

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One response

6 12 2007
anonymous person

That Jon sounds like a pretty great and dynamic character. I wish I knew more about him. Perhaps some more info or just a blog to help me, as a humble subscriber, to better understand this Jon person.

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