Tonight I’m Gonna Party Like It’s ….

31 12 2007

Well, this is it. My last blog of 2007. It’s been quite a year…

When the year first started out I had four goals:

1) For Sophisticated Romance to play at 3-5 film festivals
2) To take a Bible class or a writing class
3) To do more community service.
4) To be in a serious relationship.

The year started off with Sophisticated Romance playing at the Independent Black Film Festival in March. Then it was off to the Sweet Auburn Film Festival in May, where it won the award for Best Feature Film. Then it went to the Southern Appalachian Film Festival in October where it won the award for Best Actress. So all in all, that goal was met.

I didn’t get a chance to take a Bible or a writing class. So that was one goal not met.

One of the things I love about Buckhead Church is their commitment to serving the community. And this year I got plenty of opportunities to do just that. Whether it was putting up Christmas decorations at Atlanta Union Mission, or helping out at My Sister’s House, or just spreading some cheer throughout the streets of Atlanta, I had a chance to show the love of Christ beyond the walls of the church. So that was another goal met.

And then the last goal…(sigh). I remember the day I shared my list of goals with my small group, one of the girls asked me about that last goal. She said "Well, what can you do to meet that goal since it’s not really something that you can control." My response was simple…

"I don’t know."

I had no idea of knowing how to go about finding a real relationship in 2007 since it’s not that easy to just walk up to someone and just say "Will you be my boyfriend?" Looking back through my journal from this year, I see now how much this one goal stayed at the forefront of my mind. While I didn’t obsess over it to the point of it taking over my life, I had no qualms about reminding God every chance I got that it was a desire that I had. I think sometimes even us fierce, independent women tend to surpress the fact that we were still created to be relational beings and that deep down inside we do desire companionship. And that companionship doesn’t have to make us less fierce. Back in May, I gave God an "ultimatum" to send me a man in 30 days or else…or else what I wasn’t so sure. I said I was gonna just give up and put on my hoochie mama clothes and go to the club. But for 30 days I said I was going to keep asking, and seeking and knocking until I got some answers from God about why am I still single at 32 years old. What I realize now is that those 30 days were just a window for me to seek the face of God on this issue. And what I found was that there were other issues beneath the surface of my desire that I had to deal with. And what I realize now, looking back on 2007 was that I had been asking, seeking and knocking all year long, not just during those 30 days. At the end of the 30 days when I concluded that the man was not coming, rather than get upset, I took joy in the fact that I was fierce and that I am healthy and I am whole. I turned in my desires and wrote my Man Manifesto, resolving that even if I never got married, I would still be ok.

I let the desire go…

And then…

People say it all the time…

That it comes when you’re not looking…

WHAM!

I meet this guy. And he’s amazing. And he’s exactly what I prayed for. And he makes me happy. I was totally blindsighted. I didn’t see it coming. I had no control over it but just as this year was about to end, my last goal was met.

It’s so funny to me how we don’t realize that things are happening to us at the moments they are happening. I know that probably didn’t make any sense. But it’s just kinda cool to reflect sometimes. Especially during times like these when we’re likely to make goals or resolutions for the year to come. It’s nice when you can look back and see the changes in your life over the course of a year. Because while we’re actually going through those moments, we often don’t realize that our goals actually are being met in that very moment.

So I have a lot to celebrate tonight. Festivals, and serving, and well……waffles (don’t worry, that’s an inside joke). And I have a lot to look forward to. I still have yet to write out my goals for 2008 but I pray that it brings more grace from God, more growth, more blessings, and more love.

And I pray the same for you.

So tell me, did you meet your goals from 2007? And what do you look forward to in ’08?

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