The Weeks the Lights Went Out on Convergence…

15 04 2008

What up everybody!!!

Yes, I know it’s been a looong time since my last blog. So much has happened since Texas. For starters, I got sick the following week so that’s part of the reason why I haven’t blogged. And then I’ve just been rippin’ and runnin’ ever since. (Where did that term rippin’ and runnin’ come from anyway?) But anywho…

I’ve been going through this weird time in my life. I feel like I’m in the midst of a major transition. At this point I’m not too sure how stable my job is, which is totally ok. I don’t really feel stressed out about it or anything, whatever happens happens. But there’s that, so I’m trying to figure out what is going to be my next step in life as it relates to my career. There were a few days/weeks where I started to question my validity as an artist. Has anybody ever felt that before?

Like sometimes I wonder if being a filmmaker is really what God called me to do. It’s tough being an artist, you know? You’re always so vulnerable to have people judge and critique the work that you do–the babies that you’ve created out of your heart and soul. And when people reject those babies it really hurts sometimes. But I did go to the Atlanta Film Festival over the weekend and that helped ignite the spark in me to keep on trucking and keep doing what I love–telling stories. I think sometimes we just need a swift kick in the butt to remind us of who we are, and that’s what AFF did for me. I went to a panel on Alternative Distribution on Saturday and then that night I went to the Experimental Shorts screening. What inspired me about both of those events was that they were both proof that I can go against the grain and still be a successful artist. I can find my own voice, my own niche and it may be different from the norms that everyone else may be following and it’s still ok.

This was confirmed when I went to a video store today to try and get some videos transferred. I got into this great conversation with the guy that works there about how overrated HD can be. Everybody’s on the HD kick and so far I’ve edited two projects on HD and it’s caused me more headache than I care to go into. Don’t get me wrong, HD looks great–that is if you want your images to look clean, crisp, and slightly unreal. Me and the guy were saying how it really doesn’t matter what you shoot with, but it matters more how you shoot it. Like it doesn’t matter what kind of basketball you have, it’s all in who’s handling the ball. He showed me some stuff that he shot on Hi-8 that looked so good it’d make your head spin. It looked better than some stuff I’ve seen on HD because it was lit well and composed well.

But anyway, I can feel myself getting all technical on ya’ll. The main point is that ultimately I don’t have to conform to any rules or standards that say I have to make films a certain way. As long as I stay true to myself and my own aesthetic. Now if I can just remember that next time I create…

On top of all this my small group will be ending in about another 3 weeks. It’s bittersweet for me. It’ll be kind of cool to have my Monday nights free but at the same time I’m really going to miss having bible study with these ladies. I mean, it’s not like we’ll never see each other again. We still plan on getting together, but it just won’t be a formal bible study group anymore. That group has been such a blessing to me. We’re spending our last few weeks together sharing what small group has meant to us and what we have learned. I shared my story tonight. I’m so glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone and joined this group because I truly believe that I am a better person and a better Christian for coming in contact with each of these 9 women. They are my sisters in Christ. And just like my biological sisters, we may not always communicate and express ourselves as well as we should, and we sometimes do or say things that we probably shouldn’t but at the end of the day there’s a love, a care, and concern that cannot be replaced.

Well, I’m signing off now. I think I’m back on track now with the blogging so stay tuned for more daily adventures of Convergence. We’re Baaaaaack!!!!!

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2 responses

15 04 2008
Sis

Yahoo!! Welcome back. You can’t do this anymore. Keep your head up, Sis!!

15 05 2010

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