A Brief Memo to Avril Lavigne

6 06 2009

June 6, 2009

Dear Avril:

I really like your sense of style and your songs. Especially your older stuff like "Sk8ter Boi" and "Complicated." Boy do they rock at the karaoke bar. But you're making my life "complicated" by stealing my name. You see, I've had this name for 34 years, but now everytime I introduce myself people feel the need to say "Oh, like the singer?" Um, noooo….My name is AY-vril pronounced with a long A, emphasis on the AY. It's really annoying because I never introduce myself with a short A. But they still don't listen and continue to call me by your name.

Furthermore, you're totally messing up my google search. Now whenever I google myself, my company website doesn't come up, my IMDB page doesn't come up, but links like "Avril Speaks Out On the Environment" come up instead and it's you, all about you talking about trees. As a result, I have been forced to change my movie moniker to Avril Z. Speaks so that the differentiation can be made between Avril the singer and Avril the filmmaker. From what I can tell, things have gotten a little better on the google front with that name revision. But of course now everytime someone writes about you and Jay-Z in the same article, my listings go further and further into the abyss of search engine-dom.

From now on I'm going to need you to rightfully only refer to yourself as Mrs. Whibley. That should clear up all complications in this matter.

Thank you,

Avril (pronounced AY-vril, not A-vril)

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