A New Year Conversation with God

31 12 2010

Me: God?

God: Yes?

Me: Something has been on my mind lately, and I just have to ask…

God: What is it?

Me: Do you still like me?

God: What do you mean?

Me: I mean, I know you love me unconditionally and all, but sometimes I wonder if you still like me?

God: What makes you ask that?

Me: Well, back in the day when I first became a Christian I used to feel all tingly and stuff. Like when the choir would sing songs and the preacher would preach, it touched me, you know?

God: Uh huh…

Me: I used to get goose bumps and feel all ooey gooey inside when I felt like you were around and I don't really feel that anymore. I don't get goose bumps and feel like I'm floating around on clouds.

God: Floating on clouds?

Me: Yeah. And you and I would spend hours just talking, and it was great.  Just you and me. What happened? How come we don't do that anymore?

God: I was going to ask you the same question.

Me: Oh. Well, you know I got busy with my career and my internet and stuff. Plus, things just stopped making sense to me.

God: What kinds of things stopped making sense?

Me: The Bible. The church. You.

God: I see. Well, those things made sense when we would talk for hours, wouldn't they? It's kind of a cycle, you see…we talk, get to know each other, and things start to make sense. Just like any relationship.

Me: I guess you're right. But like lately I've been struggling with this whole thing called desire. Like how in the Bible it says that you'll give us the desires of our hearts. What does that really mean?

God: It means what it means.

Me: But I mean, I have lots of desires. And you haven't exactly been giving them to me, and it's making me kind of confused, hence the first question about you liking me. It seemed like back in the day you gave me the stuff I desired. 

God: It's funny how that's your perception of it now. Did you really desire to leave Maryland the first time and go back home to NJ?

Me: Not really but…

God: And did you really desire to marry Eric?

Me: I really did at the time but…

God: And what was the end result of those things?

Me: I eventually realized that those weren't the best for me if I really wanted to serve you and make an impact in this world…

God: Uh huh. So you desired to make an impact in this world?

Me: Look, I see your point. But that's old stuff. At least back then I got the goose bumps and stuff so when things weren't going according to my plan, I still knew everything would work out alright. Let's talk about now.

God: Ok let's talk about it.

Me: You're not giving me goose bumps and my desires seem to be floating away on clouds rather than me floating on clouds.

God: Goose bumps and clouds, that all sounds very emotional. Not that there's anything wrong with that…but…let me ask you this. The Bible does say that I'll give you the desires of your heart, but do you know what the first part of that scripture says?

Me: I can't remember.

God: Of course you can't remember, because we haven't talked in awhile. The first part says to Delight yourself in me.

Me: Hmm…

God: Remember that cycle thing I was telling you about? We talk, we start to see eye to eye, life happens but things start to make sense…In answer to your question, yes I still like you. But I wonder sometimes if you still like me?

Me: Hey, don't try to turn this thing around on me. Of course I still like you.

God: Well maybe in this new year you can start showing me more…


Dangit. He always manages to get the last word.

"Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart." – Psalm 37:4





2 responses

31 12 2010
Tiffaney Draper

I love this, Avril. You are so missed and loved!! Oh yeah, I like you too!

31 12 2010
Kristie Jackson

Wow!! Thanks for this Avril, glad to know I am not the only one feeling this of way..Thanks for the reminder of the first part of that scripture, it seems to get conveniently overlooked!

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