One Of Those Nights

29 01 2011

Well, it's been a long week. We shot Class Picture last week and it was fun, it was frustrating, it was exhilarating, it was stressful and aggrevating–all the things that make for a typical film shoot–and I can't wait to do it again. I still haven't gotten a good night's sleep. I'm hoping that I can accomplish that tonight. 

As I sit here looking at my footage from this past weekend and typing this blog, I'm feeling some kind of way right now. It's hard being an artist. And I don't know of many artists who don't struggle in some way. We struggle to pay the bills. We struggle to stay true. We struggle to get support. We struggle to get our work seen. I am so thankful that I have a job that's related to my field, but I still find myself struggling sometimes to not just be another worker and to still maintain my art. Sometimes I ask God why does it have to be this hard? Why can't we just readily have money to make films and have distributors ready and willing to promote them? It seems like it's always us artists who are constantly reaching for a dream.

*sigh* But let me stop the pity party. Usually right after I finish a project I find that my melancholy self rears its ugly head in the worst way. Couple this with having to accept the reality that a once-trusted friend and artistic partner has really let me down in the worst way, it's not making for a great night. But in the midst of it all, God is still good. I'll continue to fight, I'll continue to reach for the dream. 

I'm just having one of those nights where the only thing I can cling to is hope…and a Savior who loves me no matter what.

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