31 01 2011

Sometimes I get these seemingly great ideas that are fleeting and only last for one day or for a moment. Like that time I considered trying out for the Atlanta Rollergirls. It sounded like a great idea at first. Never mind the fact that I can just barely roller skate, but it was a great idea at first. So good that I thought about it for one day and and then never really thought about it ever again.

But then sometimes I get an idea that sticks with me days and days on end. And that's how it's been with Haiti…

My church is sponsoring a mission trip to Haiti in May and it's been on my mind a lot that maybe I should go. I've been curious for some time about what it'd be like to go overseas and serve on a foreign mission trip. I actually applied to go on one a couple years ago at my old church but I was denied. I'd like to think that it was because the trip was full, not that I was just not "good enough" to go. 🙂 But I've always had this thought that maybe one day I'd try again…

And just as much as I'm curious, I must say that the idea of going overseas on a mission trip freaks me out quite a bit. I've never been on a trip like this before, I've never really even been out of the country before, save for a few cruises to the Caribbean if that counts. In several of the church circles I've traveled in in the past, the idea of an Average Joe (as opposed to a Pastor or selected "Missionaries") going outside of the United States wasn't even something that was entertained or thought about.  And this kind of bothers me.

Truth is, my current church has wrecked me…to the point where I'm having a hard time reconciling where we get this version of comfortable Christianity that's so often preached in our churches. I'm trying really hard to not come down too hard on the church, but when I read the Bible these days I'm confronted with a gospel that is not easy, that's not comfortable, and that's not designed to make me happy, let alone to make me rich in material things. The Bible that I read talks about taking joy in suffering, it talks about laying down your life for the gospel.

Part of what freaks me out are those common fears–what if I get hurt? Where will we stay? Where will I bathe? What will I eat? And I have to ask myself the question "How would Paul have responded to those questions? Or how about Jesus?"

Could the joy of seeing someone who is lacking basic needs (food, clothing, shelter, love) be greater than one week of discomfort? Could the joy of Christ and seeing someone come to know Him be even greater than those material things? The answers leave me wrestling with the weight of the reality that for me to be someone who calls herself a Christian, I sure do put myself first an awful lot.

So thankful for God's grace…





2 responses

1 02 2011

Sorry, but not sorry 🙂

1 02 2011

Hehe! No, it’s a good thing. No less challenging, of course, but good… 🙂

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