I gotta admit. Ever since Facebook has added the “Like” feature on all status updates, I find myself drowning in my own narcissism. C’mon, don’t tell me I’m the only one who feels some sense of pride when multiple people have put their stamp of approval on something you’ve said online.
Ok, maybe it is just me…but probably not…
Truth is, I think we all have some area where we thrive on being “approved”, or being “liked”, sometimes to the detriment of our own souls. Tonight at community group we talked about the areas of our lives where we succumb to the fear of man instead of the authority of God. I hate to admit it, but I often find myself giving in to my fears that no one will press the “Like” button on me, my life, or my art in particular. “No one will like it, no one will understand it,” is what I tell myself. As a result of this fear, I often find myself holding back on my art–which is ultimately my voice–and not sharing it with the people it was intended for.
But who am I serving here? If I really believe God has blessed me with a gift and a talent, why is it so hard for me to share it? Fear. It’s a dangerous road which can turn into a downward spiral of self-doubt and criticism, which leads me to the question–How do you find balance between humility and self-depreciation, especially as a Christian? The extremes of both are really just a form of pride, a means of putting ourselves and our own desires for worth above the reality of God’s grace.
Sigh…so as I sit here chastising myself for eschewing my God-given purpose here on this earth, I’m going to do something a little daring, at least for me anyway. Well, kind of. I was going to post one of my films, but it’s too big of a file to upload, and it’s now 1:43 am and I’m tired. 🙂 Then I was going to post my reel here but for some reason WordPress is not allowing me to do that tonight. So…I give you the link to my website and demo reel, for those of you that haven’t seen it. Grant it, the reels are a little old, they don’t have any of my recent work on it. But it’s just a step for me to let you know that I’m here, I have a voice, and God has blessed it…Enjoy! (Click here to go to the reel).